How could this happen to me?

You are ready for a change; you have made up your mind! 

So you pick up the phone and get the coveted time/day for the much anticipated hair style appointment. It’s very exciting and you are looking forward to the day when you make a dramatic irreversible change to your appearance wittingly. As the time passes, and you are getting closer to the ‘Chop-Day’, your decision is unquestionable. 

And it’s gone- all nine inches of it…. and you hate it! Go ahead and scream- it’s allowed in your world at least once. The new style is not how you imagined it, you think to yourself, “the girl in the picture looks so much better”. You feel a little exposed and strange at first, but as the time passes, eventually you fall in love with it.

In another part of your life, it’s 6 am on a Monday. You get into your car with all your gear for work and realize- the tire is flat! Go ahead and scream- it’s allowed in your world at least once. You scramble to get a ride to work and have to take the metro back home in the cold weather. You car ends up needing other repairs and you end up taking the metro to and back from work for the entire week.

 Now here comes the opportunity to be completely honest -- how much did you complain to everyone around you about your car situation?

Now try to remember how much complaining was done regarding your hair cut to people around you?

It’s a humbling experience to take a step back and look at our reactions and behavior towards something that happens to us VERSUS something we decide to do to ourselves.  Complaining about your hair cut (even though it was a big blunder) didn’t even cross your mind because you had already accepted the outcome- desired or not, in your mind. You weren’t aware of this acceptance process- it was subconsciously pre-approved by you. There will be many similar occasions when things just don't go the way you want them to go- that's all part of it right?

Wouldn’t it be a healthier practice, to change your perspective when something happens TO you? You are not being fair to yourself by feeling like a victim when something happens to you nor you are being good company by sharing your annoyance continuously to others around you. Look at the circumstance as if it was your choice, you decided it intentionally. Yes, you decided to take the metro for the whole week to work in order to conserve gas (or something like that).

Imagine how much energy you would be saving and how considerate and inspirational you are being, when you decide to stop lamenting repeatedly about—‘How could this happen to me?’ and start saying-- "I decided to do this!"

Photo Credit: michellewelti

DailyCandidTalk: Why I am writing?

DailyCandidTalk: Why I am writing?: As I was sipping my Indian tea this morning, I started thinking! Why am I blogging? Where did this desire to put my thoughts out there come...

Why I am writing?

As I was sipping my Indian tea this morning, I started thinking! Why am I blogging? Where did this desire to put my thoughts out there come from?

My realization!
I am blogging as a way of self therapy. Most of us are too busy to get professional help aka: ear to vent to or discuss our internal turmoils with. Writing is my way of dealing with my day to day quandaries.
I also think that other people in my life are probably feeling the same way- if only there was a quick supporting daily reminder to help them get through; or a quick read instead of an entire self help book right?!

So here I am... writing in the hopes of helping others around me as well as myself.
We can all benefit from a little therapy, without the hard cover!

DailyCandidTalk: Find your inspiration!

DailyCandidTalk: Find your inspiration!: We all have hit rock bottom at some point! You are not complete as a person if you haven't hit that low point in your life. There is so s...

Find your inspiration!

We all have hit rock bottom at some point!
You are not complete as a person if you haven't hit that low point in your life. There is so shame in it. Society stigmatizes it and wants us to pretend that we are equipped with an impervious exterior; and to keep our emotions locked up. I say- break through that stigma and cry out loud!
Get it out of your system and then find your inner drive aka inspiration again. There is nowhere else to go when you hit that rock bottom but back up and that's the time to pay attention, let your senses open up, and build a new you.

Without inspiration, we have nothing. Inspiration is in things, stories, friends, work, pets, music, earth, husband, kids... it's everywhere, and it changes from day to day. Inspired you can grow in a way you never even imagined. So go out and find yours and build something beautiful ♥

Are you hearing me?

Listening is not the same as  really hearing to the message in a conversation.

People look at the world with their own perception most of the time. It's challenging to have a clean slate without our own experiences or baggage when we talk to people. We think we are listening to them but in essence, we end up filling the blanks up with what we THINK we heard. Our mind makes the true message hard to accept due to our own diluted perception.

"Listening looks easy, but it's not simple. Every head is a world."— Cuban Proverb

So what is this hearing anyway?

Hearing someone is about practicing empathy when talking to someone. By putting your own thoughts aside, respecting and receiving what the person is saying at face value. These are some tips that may help guarantee that both you, the listener and the information presenter, are on the same page.

1. Try to focus on what the person is really saying and avoid clouding the conversation with your own thoughts or theories.
2. Avoid your own rehearsing when being a listener. (We often are thinking of what to say next before the person is even finished).
3. Ask clarification questions such as " Do you mean" "Are you saying" to insure accurate understanding.
4. Repeat it back to the person what they just said- this is essential in communication because our perception can alter the real message.

These steps of "active listening" will help you get closer to a satisfied friend, husband, wife or a boss. After all you will be a happier person, knowing that your loved ones feel validated and heard. Being a good listener is a skill which can be mastered over time if you use the same method every time- so what are you waiting for- start hearing!

Building Bridges instead of Walls

DailyCandidTalk: Building Bridges instead of Walls: Loneliness is a self inflicted disease!! It's Saturday night and you are sitting by yourself in your humble abode, wondering why you aren...